My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
