just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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