In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
