she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
