Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
