who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
