They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My vagina is officially offended.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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