Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
