Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
