We're like a lot better than the average bears
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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