Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
