I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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