dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
