i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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