She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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