at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
