I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
