erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
