im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the day after is always just damage control
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
