Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
