we'll go far in life on tits alone.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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