There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
