what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
