Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
