why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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