And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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