and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I touched a dick in church today
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
