hell yes lets make some ravioli
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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