it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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