I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
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Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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