its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
