evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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