i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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