Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
