I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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