yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
