my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i came on her dog
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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