quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
