I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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