Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
