so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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