People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
