i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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