I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
