She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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