I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
