I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
