I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
