I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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