She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
