i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
