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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I tried to use my car keys to open my door

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  I just started a sentence with yellow.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

  Fav 54 1218 3526

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

  Fav 11 871 3249

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt

  Fav 32 1389 5931

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

  Fav 10 2831 978

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling

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• (631): View more from New York

  She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU

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• (510): View more from California

  I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.

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