You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
