i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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