I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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