I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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