would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
now i know why i became what i already was.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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