I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
