the condom got lost in my hair
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
