I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
