Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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